Published Jul 24, 2021
By LaToya Edwards
I was jealous and angry. I really wanted to be happy for my friend. She’d been through so much recently and she needed a break. I wanted to be happy for her but I also wanted to be happy for myself. I wanted to have some good news to share with others. A victory and an end to the pain that had defined my life for the past two years.
I wanted to just be happy for my friend but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it should’ve been me.
I was disappointed. And I had no idea how to handle disappointment as a Christian.
What was I supposed to do when someone else got the blessing that I had been praying about for so long? How could I rejoice with my friend over her freedom and success when I was still struggling?
Deep down I think the real thing I was struggling with was feeling like God had passed me over. That somehow my prayers weren’t heard, or worse, they were being ignored. I was hurting and in my pain, it was so hard to see anything else.
I just wanted the pain to end. How much longer would I have to wait and watch others get the blessings and rewards that my heart so desperately desired?
Hopelessness and disappointment are really just fear in disguise. They can really take the wind out of your sails spiritually and emotionally. Let’s tackle them both in this weeks “Fear in Disguise” video