It Won’t Always Feel Like This
Published May 3, 2022
Do you have a mantra that held you together in moments that felt like everything was falling apart? A personal marching order of sorts? A bumper sticker to commemorate a current or former season that held your attention so you wouldn’t hold your breath?
It won’t always feel like this.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve strung those words together. Sometimes through tears and gritted teeth, other times through gratitude and with a badge of earned perspective. It’s been a mantra I’ve paced my kitchen with and rode miles on my bike to. But every time I’ve said it it’s been a deep and sincere reminder to myself that life moves on and that this to shall pass while Heaven awaits.
I first muttered those words in the throws of young motherhood’s long days that followed sleepless nights. I never wanted to forget that the hard, but also the good, things wouldn’t always feel like this. It was a reminder to embrace the hormonal surges, colicky newborn cries and disorganized home because those things would eventually pass. But with it the infant smell, tiny newborn clothes and baby snuggles would also be over.
I clung to those words when my husband was diagnosed with cancer and I became his caretaker overnight. My head was filled with unending questions, doctors appointments and treatment plans. I felt like I was trudging through molasses. But those words reminded me that one day the heaviness of that season would pass.
Those words carried me through the loss of my husband after his 15 month battle with cancer. In the absence of his presence I needed hope to cling to. The reminder that one day my grief wouldn’t take my breath away and the ache of my heart, though never gone, would subside. I needed a reminder that even though his story was over mine was not.
Navigating my life as a young widow and single mom, those words became my battle cry. In the overbooked days and lonely nights they reminded me that life continues to flow and I would find my place and my path again.
Maybe your hearts aches right now. Or perhaps life feels heavy and hard and like things won’t ever change. Your ‘like this’ could be loss, illness, infertility, divorce or grief. But even in your ‘like this moment’, where is your focus? Because what we focus on grows. And if we are only focused on the muck we find ourselves in we won’t see the lessons God has us here to learn, the new perspective we have gained or the love of a father that mets us in the depths of our heartache.
‘It won’t always feel like this’ is my constant companion and reminder when life feels hard to look back on how far God’s brought me through every obstacle and difficult season. Those days don’t feel like they used to. It doesn’t mean those things didn’t hurt or don’t still hurt. It doesn’t mean our hearts shouldn’t break and our expectations won’t ever bust. But it’s a reminder that the uncertainty will pass, the grief will settle and the pain will diminish. One day your ‘this moment’ will become a ‘that moment’.
This saying is also my reminder in the joyful moments, the seasons you’re so caught up in the goodness of life and the richness of your relationships. Those won’t always feel the same either. Our kids will age, our friendships will evolve and our memories will fade. But in those seasons I want to remember to drink in deep those priceless experiences and divine appointments because as life has taught me, ‘it won’t always feel like this’.
