Steadfast Love
Published Oct 3, 2023
By Ellen Van Groll
It was a gorgeous spring day, no jacket needed for one of the first times since the long hard Wisconsin winter. Age doesn’t matter on a day like this because the sunshine, birds and comfortable temperatures were calling everyone to enjoy the life it was offering. I was in my early twenties, working at a middle school. I had planned on taking full advantage of lunch time outside with the students. My kid at heart appeared with the sound of the bell and I headed to the playground with the 7th and 8th graders. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved the swings. Not to brag but if there is such thing as an expert swinger, then I’m that. You know what they say, practice makes perfect! And I had practiced that long stretch of my legs, envisioning my toes in the clouds and at the same time my pull on the chains, mustering all my strength repeatedly. I have many memories of laughing with the friend next to me, we would either be in competition or married. (Is it just a hometown thing, or does everyone say you’re married if you’re matching your swing partner perfectly?) Thankfully, by the time I got out to the playground there was one swing left for me. I confidently sat down on that swing and challenged the boy next to me. “I bet I can get higher than you!” What 7th grade boy is going to turn that dare down? And we were off! My swing crept higher and higher with each stretch and pull. The wind felt cool on my face, but the sun was blanketing my body. My only care was to make sure I could back up my confidence with success. I’d look toward the sky and then I’d look over at my swing partner. I was in the sweet spot, when your body keeps going just long enough to come off the swing until it realizes it got too far ahead and plops back down to make the descent. I was there a few times until the last time. That’s when my body landed on the seat with just enough force to go right through the worn rubber. It happened all too quickly to process. In a split second my hands grasped the chains like never before, with no seat to hold the weight of my body, my feet eventually met the dry mud underneath me. I held on until I simply couldn’t anymore, and then I dropped onto the hard ground. Sitting up in a cloud of dust, I slowly realized what had just happened. I looked down and that’s when I saw my right pinky finger, completely bent at a 90-degree angle turning away from my hand. I had held on so tight; my finger had gotten stuck inside a chain link and broke from the impact.
So often in life, swings give way from beneath us. With all confidence we position ourselves just so, never questioning if the rubber will deceive us. And although it shouldn’t be, in this life, we will have trouble. Fathers leave, friends are disloyal, bodies fail, children dishonor, churches hurt, leaders lose focus, and the list goes on and on and on. This shouldn’t be! This was not God’s design. Because of sin we live in a fallen world and the clever enemy uses schemes to confuse us. Let me just say, I’m sorry for the hurt and the pain that you experience. You don’t deserve it. It shouldn’t be.
A few days ago, my six-year-old son asked, “if God knew Adam and Eve were going to sin, then why did he create the earth in the first place?” My husband’s wise answer? “Because he had you on His mind.” To which my son replied, “Dad, that was a long long time ago!” And, he responded with, “I know! God had you on His mind way back then!” And of course, I had to add my two cents. “God said life on earth will be like a vapor. He wanted you in eternity with Him.”
Friends, there are so many things in life I find myself shaking my head at in disbelief with the words on my mouth, “this shouldn’t be.” Recently, my family has been experiencing just this kind of hurt. The kind of hurt that we never saw coming. And it hurts because we feel abandoned and left to the wolves so to say. The truth is, I shouldn’t have had to question myself before I sat on that swing. I don’t see many people walking up to a swing and inspecting it before they decide whether they will trust it. (Although, I’m sure there are some.) As Moses spoke words of the Lord to Israel, he said, “Be Strong and Courageous, do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) Let those words be your hope and assurance of the goodness of God. He is near. He will never leave you nor forsake you. I want to say it again, because I want these words to be on my lips more than the words, “this shouldn’t be.” Your father in heaven will never leave you nor forsake you. Never. He is our one true constant. He is our sustainer and our keeper. There is absolutely nothing that can take Him away from you. People pass away, our jobs are not guaranteed, our homes can be destroyed. We can’t control other people, what they say or how they feel about us, and we certainly can’t control the cultural norms. But, our heavenly father, He will never leave us, no matter what.
Now, imagine yourself on a swing. Your toes are in the clouds and the strength you use to pull against the chains is not your own. You can rely on His strength no matter what may come your way. Keep your eyes, your focus on Jesus. Psalm 123:1 says, “I lift up my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven.” And Psalm 121:1 says, “I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Hold onto these words with all your might and you’re going to be ok.
Isaiah 54:10 says, “Though the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord who has compassion on you.” In Hebrew, the word hesed means steadfast love. It’s a firm and unwavering kind of love. Ann Voskamp describes it beautifully in her book Waymaker. She writes, “Hesed is an entirely singular kind of love that says: You are chosen because God simply and forever chooses to perfectly hesed-attach himself to you. You are not merely endured, you are not hardly tolerated, you are not barely accepted-but you- your very being, your actual presence, your whole soul, all of the miracle that is you is wanted – picked, chosen, delighted in, special- simply because your lungs expand to take in His love and exhale with love, the kiss of existence. God wants to inhale you, move with you, curl like kindness around your every thought. Believing this is to be really living.” Our God is greater than any injustice you have faced, and He will never leave you. He hesed loves you. May these words sink deep down into your soul and may you believe in the blessed assurance of Our Father’s Hesed love.
