Published Oct 9, 2019
By Joyel Vandenboogart
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
The past three years have been the hardest in my life. Through my own personal struggle and the loss of loved ones my faith was shaken, and I questioned, “Is God still good?” Honestly, a lot of the days I couldn’t say yes to that answer. My heart was shattered, my tears and questions took over the truth that I knew.
Two years ago, I went to a women’s conference in the midst of my pain. The week before I almost bailed out on my friend, honestly, I didn’t want to hear about God’s goodness in my pain. Days before the conference my friend lost her grandpa and his funeral was during the conference, so she was unable to attend. I thought that this was an easy out for me to not attend but felt a prompting to go in the midst of my questions and hurt. I took a leap of faith and went with a complete stranger! The three hour drive down to Chicago I questioned why I was going. I even brought work to the event so I didn’t have to engage.
Right away the main speaker talked about being a LIGHT in the darkness. She gave each of us a glow in the dark star and said, “You can have as much of Jesus as you want.” I wasn’t shining; I was dull at that time because I wasn’t spending time with Jesus getting refilled. I didn’t want to trust that God was good because my life didn’t feel good.
Will you trust God even in the midst of pain?
I believe our response to pain and challenges dictate what we do in our future. We can choose our response to pain. With Jesus in my boat the pain will still come, my boat will be rocked, but HE is still good. He is ENOUGH, He wants to hold me and LOVE me in the pain. Not only is He with me, He’s for me.
In that moment I made another commitment. To TRUST Him without reservation, but not without conversation. I KNOW my God is big enough for my questions, my pain, and my hurt. I also know He is good in the midst of pain. He is my only hope. I hope that in the midst of pain you surround yourself with others who will walk with you, but even more, time with Jesus to be filled with that LIGHT so you can shine His truth. He is the only name to remember and we need to trust him in the midst of our pain! GO and be strong with God on your side, holding you and caring for you.