Dry Doesn’t Get to Win Anymore
Published May 30, 2023
By Amanda Popp
It’s been a bit, hasn’t it?
8 months to be EXACT.
I can’t really explain why I didn’t write much from the end of August-October, but have very much reason as to why I haven’t since October.
I’ve been scared to. I’ve been nervous to. I’ve been writing in my head, but not willing to put it on paper and in front of people.
The in front of people being the scariest of all. Last October I had my first speaking experience in front of strangers at the KNOWN Women’s Conference. I was so excited to share my message on JOY that the Lord had given me. When asked if I wanted the feedback given, I nervously said “yes”. I was nervous because I didn’t want to know if anyone hated me.
When writing my message on joy I was really careful to use scripture and not add anything to God’s word. I wanted it to be solid and truth. My message was most definitely that.
I heard someone else speak before me and when I heard her speak I loved her message because it was ALSO on joy. She did a wonderful job and it was a tough act to follow because of how good she was!
I shared my message and it went well. I was so hot “under the lights”, though. By the end of my time I was so nervous about looking sweaty and disgusting, I am not sure I made much if ANY eye contact with my audience. I watched as drops of sweat dripped off my nose and onto my paper. I was HORRIFIED and was wondering if anyone was noticing the mess I was making. I was happy to be done speaking because it meant I could wipe the sweat from my brow and walk out from under the lights.
Overall, I was pleased. But, again, when asked for the feedback…I was nervous.
Then I opened the email and while there were some good comments…I read this one and my heart dropped and any confidence I had about speaking was out the window of the airpot I sat in. Coincidently ALSO sweating because of the heat in the Dominican. It read like this–
“Didn’t love the message because it was dry but just read”
My greatest fear was right there in black and white. I wasn’t “liked”.
Not only that…they thought I was DRY! I would like to think I am not at all dry, and have been called funny. I would place oodles of dollars on the fact that not a single person in the room at KNOWN that day would dare to call me any bit of funny.
I had known I just read. I attribute that to my nervousness and even though hated I did it, knew I could easily work on that. A few of the other comments mentioned the reading part.
I was stuck on “dry” the most, honestly.
And that is what stopped me from writing.
Last weekend I got to share a message on Even If at a Woman’s Event and kept putting the writing of it off and off and off. I knew what I was going to speak on and it is something that has been on my heart for a long time. Part of the reason for pushing it off was because it meant going back to a lot of hard moments…but the main reason was because I was so scared to be “dry” again.
When I listened to the girl speak before me last year I loved her message on joy, but I loved how she added her “self” into the message. She used her life and experiences to speak on the topic. She was relatable. She created an energy in the room that drew you in.
I lacked ALL of that.
I wanted that for my message I was going to be preparing. BUT I didn’t want it to NOT be about the Lord and 100% focused on him. (Which is why absolutely 0% of me was in MY message of joy)
The message I was working on, though, NEEDED me. Each time I sat down to write it, I prayed that even if it included me…that it still spoke 100% of the Lord.
I had a 45 minute time slot to fill…and I speak on the quicker end of the spectrum. THAT was scary, too! I found a really wonderful website that tells you about how long a 45 minute speak should be if you speak “slow”, “normal” and “fast”. I erred on the side of fast and as I typed all of my writings watched the word counter like a hawk.
I was nervous for my event last week, I didn’t want people to think I was dry again. I didn’t want them to think I was self-absorbed and sharing a message about me…but rather God-absorbed and sharing a message about what HE had done in my life and as an encouragement to each woman listening.
Oh! And not only did I get to share a message for 45 minutes…I got to do it TWICE!! Cue the nerves more! I had not one, but TWO opportunities in one day for people to think I was dry. 😉
My message came together beautifully and clearly because of the Lord’s hand on it.
I prepped all I could prep and when Saturday came, actually felt excited butterflies, not nervous ones.
As I stood in front of the ladies in the first session, I opened with–Okay! Sooooo, the last time I spoke, someone called me dry. It’s my goal to not be that for you. I’m going to do my best to NOT read right off my paper and actually look at you.
I figured, I might as well let them all know how I was feeling.
At the end of each of my 45 minutes–that ONLY God could have worked out so perfectly timed! Women were in tears.
If you know me at all, my goal with gifts is to make people cry out of happiness or sadness (but really because they’re so in love with it-even if it makes them sad). I consider it a win.
So, when a friend texted and asked how it went. I said “well, they cried! so it’s a win!”
And when woman after woman came up to me and thanked me for the message…my heart considered THAT a win.
Each woman’s words spoke “water” into my scared of being dry.
Each woman’s words spoke life into my heart and confirmed for me what the Lord had already been telling me, YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE. SHARE IT. IT IS ABOUT ME & THEY WILL SEE IT.
I am not denying that I was dry on that chilly October day of 2022, but what I think I was denying up until recently…is that it didn’t affect me.
That comment DID affect me. The enemy was able to seep his way into my heart and convince me that it was 100% truth and I could never be anything but dry and boring.
I wasn’t fighting the enemies lie with the truth I knew. I let his lie win and overtake me for months upon months.
When I was forced to confront that lie, I went about it scared…but with the power of God’s words flowing through me. The POWER of the testimony to who GOD is in my life and with THAT power…I was able to conquer that enemy.
I am NOT a dry person…I had a dry moment.
I learned from that moment and allowed God to use me to speak to over 60 women last week.
If I had cowered in the corner…God would have used someone else to do His work.
I’m here to share whatever He has for me to share.
Last night, I was able to share a different message with a group of ladies and it was the most comfortable I’ve ever been. I KNOW I read some…and that will get better with time. But I walked away knowing that I shared what the Lord had put on my heart. That’s a win.
A win I will keep aiming for each time He places me in front of people sharing a message that only comes from Him.
A win that I will prayerfully get to have again when I share the Even If message online for KNOWN and share at a women’s conference at a camp this fall.
DRY doesn’t get to win anymore.
